Trying on the Things Required for Your Change Journey
Questions and Action Steps
Try On the Things Required for Your Change Journey
In Module 1 we decorated your Changing Room and hung the pictures on the wall of people and places that reminded us to learn from the past and those things to let go of. We rested on our couch and focused on eliminating the negative brain chatter and decided who to ask for assistance. As you looked to the horizon through the window in your Changing Room you discovered what to Yearn or hope for in your future that will get you back into not just a good situation but the best situation at home, at work and in your community.
Now in Module 2 we’ll go a little deeper and using the acronym for Change, you’ll try on and implement the new attitudes and mind sets of, Courage, Honesty, Acceptance, Never giving up and Guts that I know you all have; it’s just been buried deep within you. We’ll try these on and make sure they fit in order to obtain that lasting permanent change you’re desiring.
Change is a scary word and make most of us uncomfortable. Or should I say, what we THINK about change is scary. There is such security in our everyday schedules with the people we know and our daily routines. To contemplate changing even the smallest thing sends us in a tailspin and our minds conjure up the worst possible scenarios of what could happen as a result of making a change.
There are different types of changes…..some welcomed as in a new hair style or something unplanned and possibly dreaded, like a job or relationship change. Those, we resist with every fiber of our being.
As you reflect on your previous attempts to change, why do you think we crave and seek to change at times and resist and fear at other times? Do you sometimes feel lost, frustrated, and unsure of yourself and life in general? Are you stuck in a dead end job or smothered by other’s expectations. If so, then I’m sure you’ve contemplated and sought some type of change. We naturally seek happiness, fulfillment, and pleasure; so anything that is within our power to bring us out of pain and into comfort, we pursue and go beyond our fears.
Our journey to change must begin with a desire or a bigger reason why. This burning desire or our reason why has to be so huge that it motivates us through the initial idea to the actions required to accomplish what we want. When your why is big enough your how will appear. Your why needs to make you cry. It has to be so motivating that you will go beyond what your mind can comprehend and motivate that inner desire that will carry and pull you through the tough times.
I’m reminded of a story about a young boy whose father was a horse trainer who moved from stable to stable and ranch to ranch training horses. The boy’s school career was constantly interrupted. One day, when he was a senior the teacher asked the class to write about what they wanted to be when they graduated. He turned in a lengthy paper describing his goal to be the owner of a horse ranch. He gave many details about the ranch and all the horses and drew the location of all the buildings, stables and even a house plan. When he received his paper back with an “F” he asked his teacher why he received a failing grade. The teacher told him his dream was unrealistic for a boy who had no money or resources and who came from an itinerant family. The teacher said there was no possibility that he would reach such lofty goals. Now, that grown man owns a 4,000 square foot house in the middle of a 500 acre horse ranch and he still has that school paper framed and hanging over his fireplace.
He had a big enough why to overcome all the negative remarks and failing grades that teacher gave him. He followed his heart and his goal and didn’t let anyone take his dreams away.
We often care enough about ourselves to change our lives, but we usually don’t have a clue where to start. We want another life and wish for another life but don’t know where to begin. Sometimes there’s more than one thing we want to change. We become frustrated and then do nothing at all.
My goal is to help you focus on yourself right now and help you understand your habit or hang up or what you want to change in order to live a prosperous, happy and fulfilled life.
Let’s look at C.H.A.N.G.E. to discover what we’re going to try on and need for your journey. Using the acronym for Change…..
C – Courage.
It’s going to take courage to look ourselves in the mirror and admit that we need to change. Courage is defined as the ability and willingness to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. As children we’re taught the story of the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch. In the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum writes, “There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid.”
The Bible teaches courage with the story of David who kills the giant Goliath with a sling shot. We were all raised on these inspirational stories of heroism. But when it comes time to look within and face the truth about ourselves we falter and make excuses.
There are many types of courage along your journey that it may take to accomplish your goals. The first will be the courage to admit you want to change. The journey starts with that first step. From there your courage will start to grow and you’ll draw on that courage as you’re faced with stepping out of your comfort zone and doing those exercises to increase your stamina. You may need to go to bed hungry a few nights to achieve that desired weight. You may need courage to take that financial risk to follow your dream or face that loved one with tough love. Whatever your personal goals become always plan to incorporate the courage required to follow them through.
A Course in Miracles states, “It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” Have the courage to look within and don’t endure a lifetime of misery.
H – Honesty.
If we can’t be honest with ourselves, then who can we be honest with? Just like trying on a dress 2 sizes too small and looking in the mirror and deciding it fits great…..we are fooling ourselves. We have that tendancy to believe that everything is ok. We’re fine just the way we are, we don’t need to change. Our inner voice repeats over and over all these lies of justification. You know yourself better than anyone else. We all know the things about our character that we need to change.
There was a time in my life I wasn’t being honest with myself. I had buried my head in the sand as I went from day to day eating whatever I wanted, not exercising and generally just living with no health maintenance plan and no thought or care about the effects of my life style. My husband and I were cooking and eating fried fish and French fries 3 – 4 times a week and rarely a fruit or vegetable hit our plate. I kept buying larger clothes and just buried myself in work with a non-complacent attitude toward my health and body. I was forced to be honest with myself when my doctor told me I’d better lose weight and start exercising or be prepared to die.
The quote by Robert Louis Stevenson says it best, “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” So, be an honest friend to yourself and admit the things you should change and be willing to have the courage to change the things you want to change before it’s too late.
This is your life and you have the power to choose what you want to do and decide how well you want to do it. Take the power to control your own life and make your life happy by being honest with what you need to change.
A – Acceptance.
In addition to courage and honesty we must accept our current conditions. Accept the fact that dress is too small or it’s the wrong color for your complexion. If we are in constant denial about where we are in our personal, business, or financial lives we will never be able to focus on a plan to change. Acceptance is a person’s ability to agree to the reality of a situation.
I know many people who cannot accept the reality of their existing situation. They are in denial and keep spending and charging with money they don’t have or any idea where it’s going to come from. I know people who are living lives of quiet desperation with family members who are stealing from them or abusing them. Wake up, stand up and accept your situation! Only then will you be able to start to make the changes you need to make for a more fulfilled life. Acceptance is a choice and sometimes a hard one but one only you can make.
N – Never Give Up.
Along our journey of change there will be times we want to give up and throw in the towel. The going gets tough and we have sore muscles, we’re tired, we’ve angered a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. The path ahead looks too hard to travel and we feel alone.
This feeling can come along at different times along the journey. Sometimes it’s in the beginning when everything seems so different and we don’t have that much time or money invested in a new venture. The urge to give up or quit seems too enticing.
More often this feeling comes when we are about to make that huge break through and have been putting in so much effort but can’t quite see the finish line. Then frustration takes over and the urge to give up is stronger and stronger. We must always believe that we are strong and we deserve the best that life has to offer. This is when our reason why needs to be in front of us motivating our forward movements. As long as you are alive anything is possible and you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed.
There are many famous athletes that attribute their success to their failures. Babe Ruth had more strike outs than home runs. Michael Jordan kept trying even when he had missed over 300 shots and missed the winning shot of the game many times. Without these misses and failures they would not have kept pushing and trying.
Always remember that you are stronger than you think and don’t let one setback stop you from achieving your goals. Don’t sell yourself short. There will be many people who will try to bring you down and tell you what you want to achieve is impossible. Don’t let anyone person or thing steal your dreams.
Bethany Hamilton is the professional award winning surfer who at 13 years of age survived a shark attack in which she lost her left arm. Despite the trauma of the attack and the loss she was determined not to give up and to return to surfing. Three weeks after the attack she was back on her board and a little over a year later entered a major competition. She has risen from shark attack victim to inspirational role model. She wrote about the experience in her autobiography Soul Surfer: A True Story of Faith, Family and Fighting to Get Back on the Board. She acknowledges her devout Christianity and her courage and faith in Jesus Christ and continues to follow her quest for spiritual meaning. She and her youth minister husband have just given birth to their first son. What an inspirational story of someone who did not let life keep them down and who has never given up and has gone on to inspire so many young women.
G – Guts.
This one goes hand in hand with Never Give Up. In order to never give up you must have the guts or gumption to keep on keeping on. Guts is a slang word but is synonymous in our culture with courage and determination.
Many times the people who come out on top aren’t necessarily the most talented, or the strongest but it’s the ones who gut it out when things get tough. Researchers have determined that guts, or mental toughness and perseverance was more beneficial for the West Point cadets to survive the grueling training courses and go on to graduate than grades or fitness levels.
I’m reminded of the story of Todd Beamer’s final known words before his plane crashed during the September 11 attacks on America. His battle cry of “Are you guys ready? Okay, let’s roll!” is a true story of heroism and one that definitely required guts. Are we ready to change? Do we have the guts to make those changes? Our changes are easy compared to what he was faced with. If you are ready, then let’s roll!
E – Excellence.
This is what we’re striving and changing for. This is where you look in the Changing Room mirror and admire your Excellence and all the reasons you have for becoming that person again who is energetic, successful, happy and creative and ready now to walk out and show up in life for all those who love and depend on you.
We all want this quality of being outstanding or extremely good. This is a quality that surpasses ordinary standards. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do…excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
So, in order to become excellent, there are many habits we would want to change. These changes to become excellent become an inspiration and example to others to try and achieve their dreams. It becomes our legacy to ourselves and our family.
We can change the world one habit and one action at a time. It all starts with setting a strong foundation of belief in God and belief in ourselves. As we become aware of ourselves and are willing to have the courage, honesty, acceptance and then never give up trying, that’s when our excellence can serve the world.
But that Change starts with you, one thought, one choice, then one action at a time. Let’s do this….Dare to change Your Life Today!
Now, please download the PDF’s right below this video and discover how to choose Courage and put that Courage to work for you in your daily life right now.